At the Beginning
by forgottendiary
Summary: [OneShot SongFic]: In the end, who do you want to be with at the beginning? Post third impact setting, WAFF, ShinjixAsuka


**A/N: **Uh, well, I just had to write this. I was planning to do so a long, long time ago but I never had the chance, or should I say I was just too lazy. :sighs: Expect some WAFF and a bit of OOCness.

Also, it's good to earlier note that my own opinion regarding what happened after 3rd Impact is what I used here. Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation, and so, I beg that we not cross the line of "debate". This is, after all, just a fanfic.

If you haven't heard the song yet, feel free to e-mail me and I'll send you a copy. :sweatdrops: I hope I don't get sued for doing so.

**Disclaimer:** Evangelion is not mine. Standard disclaimer apply.

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**At the Beginning  
**_Lyrics by: Richard Marx_

**We were strangers setting out on a journey**

**Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through**

Neither of them knew how long have they been staring at the cloudless, moonless, star-studded night sky, where, oddly enough, a belt of what seemed to be a spray of blood was clearly visible. Small waves splashed slowly into the shore only to go back into the sea--it was the only sound that filled the night. It was so hard to believe that humanity was caught in this body of liquid that stretched as far as the eye could see. It is in that secluded place where reality and dreams mix with no definite border--forever.

"A smile for humanity's fall? Or...a smile hiding the pain of remorse? ...remorse for a species that created their own demise?"

"Hmn...?" Shinji muttered under his breath and turned to see where the voice came from. He had his hands at the back of his head while his red-headed companion had a blank look painted on her face. She was completely still, one hand on top of her tummy while the other one lay on her side with an open palm.

Asuka craned her head to meet his eyes for the briefest moment. "Lilith. I'm talking about Lilith."

She returned her gaze into the sky once again, her breathing made her chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm.

Shinji closed his eyes for a moment and went back to his original position a while ago.

**Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing**

**At the beginning with you**

He let out a short sigh. "I can't remember...it's been almost five years. I guess we should've paid more attention when 'it' was still there."

A small smile crept upon Asuka's lips. "Indeed."

_Shinji has really changed--and for the better_, she thought.

Through the years, it never failed to make her feel proud of him whenever he talks or thinks about the past so casually. Sure, there were a few times that a strain in his face or voice would still be evident, but in all, he seemed to have moved on.

**We were strangers on a crazy adventure**

**Never dreaming, how our dreams would come true**

But it wasn't a smooth ride to reach this far--both of them knew that. And to think of it, 'this far' wasn't still far enough.

"It's quite amazing though..." Shinji breathed in a gulp of air--the blood-like smell of the LCL sea seemed to have disappeared. Or perhaps, he was just used to it by now.

Asuka's eyes traveled to one side, watching his profile. He looked as if he hasn't changed physically--he still had the face of an innocent boy.

She raised a brow. No, maybe it was because she has been with him ever since that she has grown accustomed to him, and she was absolutely certain that the same goes for Shinji when it comes to her.

"...it's amazing that it only took a few years for those who returned to rebuild almost everything." Shinji continued pretending not to notice that Asuka's eyes were on him. He didn't mind though--he loved her eyes and the way that they seem to see everything.

He can clearly remember his relief and surprise when Asuka removed the bandage revealing a perfectly intact right eye--no scratches, no blood, no hole, no nothing.

Asuka propped her elbow on the mat to support her head while she looked down at him, studying his features from her new vantage point. The lamp poles that lined near the beach and the portable lamp that illuminated their tent set-up a few feet away, was all the lighting they had.

Still, it was enough to let her realize how the lines and contours of his face were much more defined than they were when they had first met. He was wearing a simple white polo shirt lazily tucked out, matched with a checkered blue shorts. She caught sight of his sneakers and her sandals near Shinji's foot, and farther offshore was their pick-up truck.

"Shinji, have you heard of the term 'priming effect'?" She asked, a bit teasing.

**Now here we stand, unafraid of the future **

**At the beginning with you**

"Well, no." He smiled at her. "Not at least from you, ma'am."

Asuka stuck a tongue out at him and he thought she was absolutely adorable. Her blue-green eyes seemed to glow with amusement and they'd never fail to make him feel happy and amused.

Back then, when they were still EVA pilots, he could only count the number of times that she was like this--the volcano incident with the 8th Angel, and after they defeated the 9th Angel--those were the times when she showed her soft hued face. At other times, when she laughed, smiled, or played that superior character of hers--it felt as if she was wearing an impenetrable mask she'd dread to remove.

But now, Asuka seemed to have broken the mask herself. She was beautiful then, but she was more beautiful now--well deserving to be called a woman. Gone were the neural clips that held her lavish red hair--Shinji couldn't even remember when did she start letting her hair down. It didn't matter though, she looked so peaceful whenever the soft breeze came playing with her soft locks.

"Hm." Asuka queered her eyes. "You explain it to me then, Ikari Shinji."

Shinji smiled, biting his lower lip. He got up, copying Asuka's propped position which made their faces meet a few inches apart. He ran his eyes abruptly over her form--she wore a loose powder blue long sleeves, cut short so as to drape just right above her waist. Her bottom was a black, military-style pants with the hems shoved inwards inches past her ankle.

"Nah, actually it sounds better when you're the one doing the explanation, ma'am." He pinched her nose for the briefest moment.

"Hey!" Asuka exclaimed--no trace of anger or irritation in her voice. "Alright, baka-Shinji, for your sake."

They smiled at each other. That name she just called him--somehow it has transformed itself into a term of endearment rather than an insult, and both of them knew that.

"As Gleitman put it in one of his books, priming effect is a phenomenon wherein giving a participant advance knowledge about or exposure to a stimulus can increase the ease of its subsequent recall or recognition." Asuka spoke without faltering. How can she not? It was one of the things she says every now and then ever since "The Third Genesis".

**No one told me I was going to find you**

**Unexpected, what you did to my heart**

"In short, the reason why rebuilding was so much faster this time around was because an almost identical thing happened way back then." Shinji supplied not breaking eye contact as he said those things.

Asuka was certain she was blushing from his stare. She fought not to laugh or smile, but the movements along the edges of her lips betrayed her. "Very well said."

"So the next time some lunatics come up with their own ideas for a fourth impact--"

Asuka shot him a look, and he completely stopped with his words.

Shinji pursed his lips faintly, lowered his head a little and then looked at her again, guilt painted on his face.

"Sorry." He uttered quietly.

Asuka closed her eyes, all signs of resentment gone. "I haven't heard that for a while...at least not without that tone and face."

Shinji blinked, and before he knew it, Asuka's head was resting on the crook of his neck, her free hand wrapped loosely around his upper body.

"Don't imagine things like that Shinji...all these years, many have returned, but no one came back from 'them'...no one..." She closed her eyes, breathing in his scent calmly.

She held him closer, tighter. "I only have you."

Shinji looked at her from the corner of his eye, caressing the smooth length of her lower arm with his free hand.

He realized it was the same hand that they thought was severed. But like her right eye, it was perfectly fine. Those things remained vivid in his mind, even up to now. He opened his mouth to say something, but then, he closed it and looked up at the sky for the uncountable time.

At that time when they found themselves in this same spot, or even when they first laid eyes on each other, never did he imagine nor think that Asuka would be able to open herself to someone, especially to himself--to show her fears and doubts, nevertheless, her affection. He knew she hated to take the role of being the "weak" one. That is why she always bragged about being independent and strong--to keep others out from invading her own sphere.

Heck, he never imagined himself doing the same thing. He was completely aware about his own fears when it comes to opening himself up and of interaction. He was afraid that if he'd let himself trust others, they would end up betraying him--he was afraid of being hurt in that way.

**When I lost hope, you were there to remind me**

**This is the start**

Ironically, Instrumentality was the one that made him to realize and accept his being. That in the end, he chose to go back to a world of uncertainty rather than stay in his self-defined universe while he was meshed with the rest of humanity.

He gulped, remembering how he woke up with disbelief to an unmoving and emotionless Asuka. He didn't care if the world was in a complete wreck--all he wanted was someone to return to. She was there, but looked unreal like everything else there was in Instrumentality. There he was, strangling her to death but she never showed any signs of pain, anger, or resistance. She just stared at an unknown void letting Shinji do whatever he wanted and pleased.

All his hopes died in those menacing seconds--what was the point of coming back?

What was the point of finally knowing himself?

What was the point of having hope and faith as Kaworu and Rei have told him?

What was the point of being here now?

He wanted to scream until his lungs and throat hurt, but he couldn't. It was as if his voice was left somewhere he didn't know.

But just when he thought that he was already insane and was ready to die along with this worthless reality, he felt her hand ever so gently on his face.

He gasped, eyes widening as he let go off her throat.

Tears came down from his eyes--tears of relief and of joy.

Finally!

Finally! She tried to stop him! This wasn't just his own world!

He wasn't alone...

She was there...

And she was here now...

**And life is a road that I wanna keep going**

**Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing **

**Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey **

**I'll be there when the world stops turning **

**I'll be there when the storm is through **

**In the end I wanna be standing **

**At the beginning with you**

He stopped caressing her arm as he reached her wrist. Gently, he took her hand, laying a brief kiss on her palm before placing it onto his cheek, closing his eyes as he did so. Asuka could clearly see his actions even though even though strands of her hair covered her face.

Shinji shifted so as to let her head rest fully on his shoulder while still holding her hand in the process. He looked at her with a comforting but firm gaze.

"Listen, I learned to be satisfied with the things I have through you--I'll be happy if there'd come a time when any or all of them have come back." His voice was strong and clear.

Asuka watched his every expression with a sober face. She was going to say something, but he seemed to have something more to say so she decided to listen.

"Fourth impact, fifth impact..." Shinji's forehead was crumpled. "...I don't care! Because I know we'll be together...and if, and if I wake up on beach or any place somewhere without you, I'll go looking for you."

"Shinji..." She whispered his name as she squeezed his cheek gently. "...you pathetic excuse for a combat pilot, trying to be the hero again?"

A small smile crept upon their lips. The casual sentences of yesterday broke the tension for a while. "I'll be looking for you too, dummkopf."

"See? We've done it once, there's no way we're going to give up if there were a next time time." He pulled her close to him and reveled in her assuring presence.

Asuka held him too, burying her face on his chest. She heard the strong and steady beating of his heart that perfectly epitomes his fervent spirit. It was once the heart of a fragile but willful boy who continued to fight until the end--a hidden strength. It is true what they say: what we are never changes, but it's who we are that changes.

"With you, Shinji, there's no reason to fear--even if there were a next time..." Asuka whispered and eased her head up to meet his face.

**Knew there was somebody, somewhere**

**A new love in the dark **

**Now I know my dream will live on **

**I've been waiting so long **

**Nothing's gonna tear us apart**

Shinji released his hold on her hand and cupped her face instead. He moved closer and closer pulling her along with him as he did so. She closed her eyes as their lips finally met and melded at each other. It was one of those innocent kisses of genuine love--gentle and slow, passionate but without any tinge of lust.

Shinji pulled back to look one more time at her, wetting his lips as he did so. "I love you so much..."

Asuka smiled at him but never answered. Instead, she reached up and gave him a lasting kiss--one that assured him yes, she loved him in the same way, maybe more than he could ever think of. He smiled at the thought while intertwining their fingers, feeling a familiar solid band around her middle finger and around his own. He led her arm around his waist while doing the same thing to her, pulling her ever so close as if not ever wanting to let go.

The waves continued in their never ending journey to the shore and then back to the sea, never telling if someone was about to return into this imperfect world.

But she was here, and he was here as well--they are complements to this imperfect world along with the others who rejected Instrumentality. Together, they chose the hurt, pain, and insecurity reality has to offer. For them, this imperfect world offered more than just being weaved by the things they desire.

Perhaps, even if this imperfect world really came to an end at this very moment, both know it ended well.

And again...

God's in His heaven. All's right with the world.

**And life is a road that I wanna keep going**

** Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing **

**Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey **

**I'll be there when the world stops turning **

**I'll be there when the storm is through **

**In the end I wanna be standing **

**At the beginning with you**

**

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**

**_-Owari-_**

**A/N: **Well, there you have it. I do hope I didn't have your brows raised every time the OOCness struck in. :sweatdrops: It's amazing how I finally overcame my lazy-ness spree. I finished two different stories/chapters in a week! Am I sick or something? Anyways, if I figure out how, I might use this as a prelude or something to the promised multi-chapter EVA fic. It's just a thought though, might change my mind (or worse, I my lazy-ness can have a relapse). :sigh: Comments, rants, and all other things are most welcome. It's about 1:33 AM while I'm writing this **word **and now, I have to go get some sleep--not after I post it, of course.

Anyways, thanks and cheers to everyone!

**Extras:**

1. There is no moon - the (LCL) sea is described in a low tide setting.

2. Repetition Priming - reference comes from Gleitman et al. "Basic Psychology" 2001

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**_ForgottenDiary_**

P.S. Hououza, in case you're reading, and/or have read this, that's why I said "maybe" on the issue of the Shinji & Asuka on the shore after Instrumentality thingy. All the best to you too!


End file.
